"Our job is to record, each in [her] own way, this world of light and shadow and time
that will never come again exactly as it is today."
~Edward Abbey

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's a year for a good story



I could easily start this post out by looking back over the things about 2009 that were not good. And there were plenty. This year, my life reversed course, turned upside down and introduced me to a level of upheaval that I have never experienced. But it also introduced me to new experiences and new levels of freedom that I have never experienced. So. I don't want to spend much time looking back. I have already spend a lot of time looking back, and now it is time to look forward.

There is a good story in store for me in 2010. I know. Because I'm going to write it. I have already written some parts. Other parts will emerge as unexpected complications occur, new characters emerge, and new themes develop. And so I present the story of my life in 2010, as I see it so far (to be amended and adjusted as the situation warrants).

  • In 2010, I will run my first marathon. This is an idea that I have always toyed with, and this year is the year that it makes sense for me to train. If I don't do it this year, it will have to wait until at least my second year of residency before I can devote the time and dedication it takes to do it right. I am already signed up for the Los Angeles Marathon, and my training is well underway. In fact, I ran 14 miles this morning. (Tips and opinions are welcome, particularly from my distance-running friends!)
  • In 2010, I will get my finances back under control. This is already well underway, but I am still working to get debts paid off, build my savings a bit, and tighten the budget a bit on my spending. All of these things are necessary because:
  • In 2010, I will get my own place. I am still living with friends, which has been great both in terms of support and the friend-discount rent I am paying. But I am really ready to get my own place. I have thought about a roommate, but truthfully I want my own space, however tiny what space I can afford might be. So, I'm writing it into my story.
  • In 2010, I will finish my PhD. I will fucking finish my PhD! Graduation is in May, and you are welcome to attend. :) Hard work is imminent (and a bit overwhelming). But the reward will be that I will finish this degree that has in turn made me feel both proud and incredibly stupid. In the end, I'm not sure where it will take me, besides into my clinical rotations, and one step closer to my MD. But I know where it has already taken me. Many of those places have nothing to do with the degree itself, but that is just an example of how the path winds in unpredictable ways.
  • In 2010 I will cultivate friendships. This is something I always try to do, and particularly in the last 3 or 4 years. In the last year, many of my friends have graduated and moved away. But I want to continue to do the work that it takes (and I know it takes a great deal of investment) to stay in contact with those that I truly care about. I have experienced that it is worth it. And as my network of friends spreads across the country, technology continues to make it easier for me to keep in touch with them. God bless the Internet. And skymiles, here I come!
  • In 2010, I will continue to be my authentic self. I think this has been on my new years resolution list for at least a year, if not two, and I really feel like this has been the biggest catalyst for my personal growth. I am getting to the point where I feel like what you see is what you get. I no longer feel like I am hiding parts of myself. If you ask me a question, I will give you the straight truth, no bullshit, whether it is about you, about life in general, or about me. I don't feel like I am pretending to be someone or something I'm not, and that is an incredibly liberating feeling.
Now it's your turn. Write your story. And share it with the people you love--in the comments, on your own blog, or in real life.

10 comments:

ABranch January 4, 2010 at 6:02 AM  

I have no doubts in your ability to write and live a "good story". Keep a chapter (or two!) open for a few adventures with me!

Leah January 4, 2010 at 7:12 AM  

This sounds great, Ern. It really inspires me to think through a similar list for myself.

And wow! A marathon...all you runners impress the hell out of me.

And I'm so happy for you for graduating this year!!! That has to feel amazing!

I'm proud of you for using your life upheaval to take stock and look things over, and then for making the changes you wanted to see in life. It's soooo good, and even though we've never met, I can definitely say I'm proud of you. I'd also love to meet you someday...you seem like Good People.

CëRïSë January 4, 2010 at 9:57 PM  

A marathon! Erin, I'm so excited for you! I'm totally here if you have any questions.

Here's to good stories!

Pam,  January 4, 2010 at 10:14 PM  

Nice photo, great missions! :)

kalki January 6, 2010 at 8:57 AM  

I really like the idea of the upcoming year as a story, and particularly as one that you write for yourself. So often I feel like circumstances beyond my control are creating the narrative of my life, and reading this post was a good reminder that, in so many ways, I wield the pen.

All the best to you this year, dear.

Ern January 6, 2010 at 4:34 PM  

Ang, I definitely have chapters available for you! One in March specifically :)

Leah, I'd love to meet you someday too. We just have to shrink down this big country a bit.

Ceri, you inspire me!

Pam, thanks. :)

Kelly, thank you. It's good to "see" you on the web. We've both been much more absent online than we used to, but it perked me right up to see a comment from you! All the best to you this year too.

Mom,  January 6, 2010 at 9:45 PM  

Well, what made me click on your blog tonight when I know you've been busy not posting so I haven't been checking in...? I guess the universe knew I needed to hear a great story!

It's almost impossible to capture in writing the feelings I had reading your 2010 story - but I will try.

Inspired - I am thinking of my coming year as a narrative now, as well - so thanks!

Grateful - although that word is inadequate when compared to the physical and emotional surge of - well - gratitude - that I experienced reading your post.

Enthusiastic - Since I am part of your life, I can't wait for the story to unfold - all the twists and turns along the way - now that I am envisioning the specific episodes within the narrative.

You might think I would say something about being proud of you but I have never been able to say I'm proud of you and Scott, as pride is something I think should come from within when a person assesses their own experiences and progress. I can imagine that all you are doing and envisioning gives you a great sense of joy and, perhaps, pride, in the best sense of the word. But that is always for you to decide.

Now, I must turn to my own story. I'm envisioning a wonderful semester with new human beings I will begin to become acquainted with next week. Also, I'm envisioning plenty of good times with work buddies who share my days. There are many trips on the horizon to be with friends, so I have good work to do so that those times will be great chapters. You, Dad, and Scott woven throughout.

And, of course, I'm envisioning lots of great opportunities to be with you as I get to be a supporting character in your narrative - and you in mine!

Love you so,
Mom

m January 7, 2010 at 5:36 PM  

your momma always makes me smile.

as do you.

i love your story and i love the post you linked to.

you are very inspiring and i'm soaking it all up!

mygonie!

Kerri Anne January 20, 2010 at 9:29 PM  

I love this. And I 100% believe you can do ALL of this, and more!

I posted my own (very comprehensive, specific!) list on my site (A Year Complete), so I won't hijack your comments to re-list everything. Suffice it to say, I'm beyond psyched for this year. (For both of us!) I have a feeling it's going to be UH-mazing.

Danielle January 30, 2010 at 4:49 AM  

What a great post.

It is inspiring for me in many ways. My life is going through many very major changes right now; some of them are things that I cannot blog about due to a promise I made when I started. But suffice to say, your post is helping me.

About Me

Once upon a time, I blogged. I was married, we lived in an adorable house with our adorable pets. Gradually I stopped writing. Abruptly I stopped being married. The pets went with my ex. Suddenly I found myself in the midst of months of painful, frightening, sometimes exhilarating, transition.

I am still not entirely clear of the rocks.

But I am beginning to see the other side.

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